On a sunny spring-like winter afternoon on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains ~

Over my 43 years in birth work, originally inspired by the birth of my daughter Molly (1970), I’ve been awestruck and humbled at what I continue to learn –what science, ancient wisdom, intuition and personal experience – show about what it means to be born, to give birth…and how to be fully human. I’ve discovered that there is irrefutable evidence that the childbearing continuum, that series of exquisitely complex, processes that take us from before conception through birth, and then through the first year following, shows just how interdependent everything is. Remember how we heard that a butterfly moving its wings somewhere on this earth is affecting life across the planet. That was such a beautiful image; but it’s not just a metaphor for the interconnection – AND inter-dependence – of life. If we live with this awareness, life opens up to so much richness.

I hold this truth about the interconnectedness and interdependence of life as something precious. It reminds me today, when I have been impatient, irritable and frustrated with life’s daily challenges, that it’s up to me to re-work my attitude and behavior so that I what I give out to the world is the best of me. And I’ve been pondering this truth as I reflect on what appears to be a growing movement globally for people to be uncivil, mean, and bigoted to each other…and violent in thoughts and speech, as well as actions. As someone who’s chosen the path of activism, I continue to be stunned at how I think, feel and behave when I run across examples of human meanness…my own included.

A few examples in the news of the past few days:

1)   The refusal of governments to make climate change, global warming and the toxic effects of our addiction to oil the number one priority to address locally, nationally and globally…or we won’t have a livable world

2)   the efforts to suppress homosexuality by passing laws to outlaw it or making it legally acceptable to refuse to serve or work with those who are not “straight” (Is anyone really 100% straight?);

3)   2) the ongoing attempt to deny science and scientific inquiry and methodology by taking the subject of evolution out of school books, or putting creationism (a set of untestable religious beliefs) alongside it in curriculum;

4)   the attempt to keep other people from earning a “living wage”: by legislating a minimum wage that will allow an adult to work no more than one fulltime job in order to be able to afford decent housing, food and transportation);

5)   the ongoing refusals by corporations to change practices that have known (scientifically proven) negative impact on their workers and the public’s health and children’s brain development… I can point specifically to substances such as dioxin (one of the toxic ingredients in Monsanto’s Roundup herbicide) that send a false message throughout our body because they mimic our natural hormones, and for this reason are named “endocrine disruptors”.

6)   the attempts by many to keep healthcare and access to enough food and healthy food a privilege that only a few deserve to have, rather than a right that everyone deserves and every society needs to make possible

Need I go on! The list is just beginning in my mind. How can so-called religious people, God-loving people, think it’s acceptable to try and prevent others from having the same rights and access to care and caring and being treated with respect and kindness that they enjoy.

Today, at the start of yoga class, when the teacher suggested that we each set an intention for the class and perhaps for the day, I made my intention to have that hour of practice be there to help me be more patient and have more equanimity. I like that word: it brings up a sense of wellbeing as well as good-natured calm. But, as my partner Bob and I were discussing last night, practicing patience (and forbearance) and equanimity (what Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Han suggests is helped along by lifting the corners of our mouth into a soft inward smile whenever we think about it) doesn’t preclude feeling anger. Especially for those of us who care deeply about one or another pressing issue.

There’s so much in the world – and being reported in the media – that Bob and I feel deserves our being outraged… and then doing something about it. Focusing our outrage and indignation – our anger – like a laser and letting it fuel clear thinking and direct action is a good thing, don’t you think? And I for one, hope to inspire or remind others to get engaged in this world.

I’m reminded frequently of the paradox of holding both a sense of outrage and peace of mind (equanimity).  They’re needed equally and in equal measure. I have a lot of practicing to do to achieve this balance I yearn for. And at the same time as working toward it, I have to remember that loving kindness starts with being kind to myself.

As an self-appointed “agent of change”, I struggle to accept the world as it is right now, and accept myself as I am, which I do believe is the proper starting place for anyone who wants to help create a better world. Sound ironic but it’s not. It’s just one of the many paradoxes of life: paradox being two or more things that seem as if they cannot both be true, yet they are.

I find that going outside and being in nature is an immense help to the over-thinking brain, and overwrought emotional body: noticing how my body is feeling, noticing that I'm actually "in" my body, noticing how amazing it is to be alive and a part of all that is.  It reminds me that the world of nature, of which we are a part, is in a dynamic state of balance, when we are willing to allow it and for the most part leave it alone. Being observant and curious as well as enjoying being present in it, that's another paradox worth cultivating. 

And there is more and more evidence that we humans are by nature kind, generous, moral and that we turn toward doing good (remember the words of ML King, that the arc of human nature is long but it tends toward goodness, to paraphrase). 

And there's new scientific evidence that even as young babies, as young as a few months, we have can tell the difference between something harmful and something beneficial, and that we generally choose what is good. That’s something I’ll write another blog about sometime…the innate goodness of human beings, and how our work can maximize that.

Sending love, Suzanne Arms